Well now, let’s talk about this Batocera thing, whatever it is. Sounds fancy, but it ain’t nothin’ too complicated, I reckon. People say it’s for playin’ old games, like them Pac-Man and Donkey Kong things my grandkids are always yappin’ about.
First thing’s first, you gotta get yourself a picture, or an “image” as they call it, of this Batocera. You go to their website, like goin’ to the store, and find the right one for your machine. Most folks use that x86_64 thing, sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me, but that’s what the smart fellas say.
- Download that picture thing.
- Then you gotta stick somethin’ into your computer, like one of them USB sticks or them little cards. They say 8GB is enough, but shoot, go for 16GB if you can. More room for more games, I guess. Just like havin’ a bigger pantry for more jars of preserves!
- Now, you gotta use a special program, like a magic wand, to put that picture onto that stick or card. They call it “flashing,” sounds like somethin’ you shouldn’t do in public, but that’s what the kids are saying these days!
One program they use is called Balena Etcher, sounds like a fancy name for a picture hanger. If it don’t work, it’ll tell you why, just like my old pressure cooker when it’s hissin’ and spittin’. Read what it says, don’t just stand there gawkin’ like a chicken at a June bug.
Once that picture’s on the stick or card, you gotta tell your computer to start up from it. It’s like tellin’ your car to go down a different road. You might have to press some buttons, like F12 or somethin’, when it starts up. It’s different for every machine, just like every cow has its own moo. Press that “Start” button once you are in Batocera. And find the system settings. Look for the install option. You’ll figure it out.
Now, some folks are real fancy, and they want to use this Batocera on those little Raspberry Pi things, or even their TVs! Shoot, I remember when a TV was just a big box with a knob. But I guess it’s all the same, you just gotta get the right picture and put it on the right thingy.
And sometimes, if you’re really clever like those city folks, you can use this Batocera on something called a “VM.” Sounds like a secret code, but it’s just a way to run a computer inside your computer. It’s like havin’ a chicken coop inside your barn. You gotta make sure that picture thing is the right size, though. They talk about “truncating” it, sounds like somethin’ you do to a tree branch, but I guess it makes the picture fit better.
They also talk about somethin’ called FAT32. Sounds like somethin’ you’d get from eatin’ too much lard, but it’s the way they organize things on that stick or card. It’s important, I guess, like makin’ sure your eggs are all in the right carton.
And remember, if somethin’ goes wrong, don’t go throwin’ your computer out the window. Just read what it says, try again, or ask a young’un for help. They seem to know all about these newfangled contraptions. It ain’t rocket science, even an old gal like me can figure it out, eventually. It’s just about gettin’ the right picture, puttin’ it in the right place, and tellin’ your machine to use it. Just like makin’ a good ol’ apple pie, you just need the right ingredients and know how to put ’em together.
Now you should be all set to start playing those old games. Just don’t stay up too late. Nothing good ever happens after midnight.
Remember to always backup your important stuff before you go around flashing pictures onto things. You don’t want to lose all your precious photos of the grandkids or those recipes you’ve been collecting your whole life.
Well, that’s about all I know about this Batocera thing. Hope it helps ya. Now go on and have some fun, and don’t forget to call your grandma sometime!
Tags: Batocera, Linux, IMG, Installation, Retro Gaming, Raspberry Pi, USB, SD Card, VM, FAT32
